for when you've lost someone far too soon
“There are spaces of
sorrow only God can touch.”
-Sister Helen
Prejean, Dead Man Walking
God, this. This is
impossible.
This grief is too
much to bear.
If there was a tight
order
to the world that
you made,
it’s come unspooled
and no one will wind
it up again.
God, I feel it
coming,
that ache for the
stories that will never be told.
And an anger rising
when I remember
what never should
have been.
Worst of all—God, could anything be worse?—
it is so beautiful
the
way this grief is a language of love.
I am lovesick with
this much sorrow.
Teach me to speak
this new mother tongue.
Show me how to
memorize
so I can never
forget
what they gave and
what is gone,
and what we were
owed
by a world robbed of
their presence.
Hold me by the edges
for I am coming
apart.
And nothing but love
will
find me.
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