Scripps Sunday- Alaska Edition #33 1/2 (part 2!)

 

Dear Anna,

The reflections that you wrote and sent with your application to the Faith and Justice cohort were beautiful, and your big expansive heart shines through. Thank you so much for letting me read those and for giving me a window into what matters most to you.

There are some similar threads to some of the same things I felt years ago when we were discerning adoption, when I was wrestling with questions of calling, justice, surrender, and the upside‑down kingdom. As I looked back at notes, emails, and letters from that time, I gathered some wisdom from that season to pass along—not as answers, but as a way to walk alongside you as you navigate what’s unfolding now.

1. Big spiritual questions begin as seeds — and seeds take time.

I too have felt a pull toward something costly and beautiful. Callings rarely arrive fully formed. They begin as seeds, and they need patience, quiet, and contemplation before they reveal what they are. As Jaime noted, I wonder if you are drawn to Fredrik’s clarity and purity in their call in this as well. That’s a good thing, but I think clarity takes time to crystalize. You don’t need to know yet what this experience is asking of you. Let it be a seed. Let it grow slowly.

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." Habakkuk 2:3

2. A spiritual encounter is not a command — it’s an invitation.

Your moment at the river was so sacred. Moments of awe like this don’t always mean “change everything now.” Sometimes God may just be simply widening your heart, expanding your capacity to see the world as holy. You can hold the beauty and continue to let the encounter shape you without rushing toward certainty.

Remember this from last fall that I wrote after Sahale Peak last September:

Today is new, O God.
Sometimes life flashes before me, and I wake to the gift that this day is.
I realize—I get to be here.
I get to be in the chores, in the errands,
in the ordinary unfolding of hours.

And I notice—
the colors, the air,
the sheer grace of being alive.
“This is the day that the Lord has made.”
If You made this day,
if you intended me to wake up into it,
then there is purpose already here.

Thank You for the gift of this new day—
for bringing me safely through the night,
for bringing us safely to this moment.
Help me not take this day,
these people,
this life for granted.

“Oh, Earth, you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you.
Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every minute?”
Teach me to realize it, Lord.
Even for a breath. Even for just a second.

I’ve got choices ahead of me:
to worry, to fear, to hesitate, to regret.
But there is also this other way—
to rejoice, to trust,
to believe that love is holding my hand.

So I lift my eyes and settle my soul.
This day is yours.
And so am I.
And the only faithful response to such a gift
is gratitude spilling over.

3. You don’t have to slam the window shut — you can leave it cracked.

You wrote that you felt yourself shutting a window to keep the light out. That makes sense thinking about how our minds try to protect us when something feels too big, too costly, too overwhelming. But I don’t think you have to choose between all‑open or all‑closed. You can leave the window cracked. Let the light in slowly. Let yourself and the questions breathe. Take your time. There’s no rush and there’s no pressure from anyone (except perhaps yourself).

4. Let calling be communal (but be wise in who you invite in).

When Dad and I were discerning adoption, clarity didn’t come alone. It came through conversations, prayer, shared wisdom, and community. However, as I mentioned on the phone, be wise in who you choose to share this with (as too much input can also be overwhelming and can drown out your own inner voice.)

5. The upside‑down kingdom is beautiful- but there are different invitations of how we get to be a co-creator with God to bring about goodness, love and beauty into the world.

Fredrik’s radical generosity is certainly a beautiful thing, but I do wonder if you are thinking this is the only way to live into deeper generosity and into being a co-creator with God.  I don’t think you have to become someone on the margins to love those on the margins or even to give away everything to live generously or follow a path of justice.  While those are beautiful paths, there are many faithful ways to embody compassion, justice, and generosity — and they do not all look the same.

6. Awe is a gift to be stewarded.

Some experiences aren’t meant to tell you what to do. They’re meant to show you who you are becoming. Let this awe you experienced deepen your compassion. Let it soften you, make you more tender, root you to be more grounded. Let it teach you to see the sacredness in every ordinary moment — the present gifts right in front of you. Don’t miss that. Be here now.

7. You can walk with beauty and fear and trust along the way.

Welcome all of the emotions that come and then let them move gently down the river. Let fear and beauty walk beside you until clarity comes. You don’t have to choose one or the other. Let God cultivate trust. Hold onto God’s hand and ask God to carry you close through this chapter.

Remember the wisdom from Thomas Keating:

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I welcome everything that comes to me today, because I know it's for my healing. I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions. I let go of my desire for power and control. I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure. I let go of my desire for survival and security. I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person or myself. I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within. Amen. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

8. You can trust God with the timing.

If this is truly God’s invitation, it will unfold in God’s timing. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to leap before you’re ready. You don’t have to make a dramatic decision to prove your sincerity or purity of heart. Let the seed grow at the pace of grace.

“Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:30 The Message

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Romans 12:1-2 The Message 

9. Always come back to God’s love as a foundation no matter what you do.

These lines in particular popped out to me from a former prayer I shared with you your sophomore year: "When insecurity, shame, comparison, disappointment, and failure knock on your door, may you know this is part of being human. May these be the very things that bring you back to God’s love. May you breathe and then notice & return to your true self. May you experience contentment and a light heart…As you learn to radically love your body, may you see her as a gift who gives you the strength to do what you love and may you nourish her, respect her, and honor her." Scripps Sunday #35

10. Pay attention to joy.

Your reflections are often so full of joy. Pay attention to what brings you alive. God has wired us in certain ways and God will speak to us in those personal ways to get our attention.  The upside‑down kingdom is not only about giving — it is about delight, abundance, and freedom. Could it be that joy is one of the clearest indicators of where God is gently leading and inviting you “farther up and farther in”?  (That last quote is a Narnia reference).

11. You are invited to write your own chapter.

I have wrestled with questions that feel similar to yours. My path led one way (and I’m still on my own journey and still learning and unlearning!). Yours may lead another. What matters is that you listen deeply, walk humbly, and trust that Love is guiding you. May you hear the invitation to peace, freedom, wholeness, and beauty along the way. May you know that you belong to God. And may you not miss the present gifts right in front of you. 

You don’t have to become someone else to be God’s child or follow in someone else’s footsteps. To the contrary- God wants you to be more fully you as you are more rooted in God’s love. As you quoted in your letter from Thomas Merton, “To be humble, then, in this context, is to be grounded in our oneness with the richness of life and with the life-giving sources that flow through our humanity.” And this too from Padraig O’Tuama that resonated with you: “Take your hand and place your hand some place upon your body. Listen to the community of madness that you are. You are such an interesting conversation.”

You are already standing in sacred ground — in Alaska’s light, in your friendships, in your questions, in your wonder. Soak up the delight of all of this, all you know of yourself, and all you know of God at this point in your life.

May this be a time you experience more peace and love and wholeness- no matter what comes.

With love to the moon and back,

Mom